SUPPORT

In this country I lacked completely emotional and financial support.
Whatever I did I did without physical, financial, emotional support from any one
except perhaps one or two people who once in a while supported me emotionally
They couldn't support me financially.
In 32 years two people perhaps supported me emotionally
And none financially...In 32 years only two people once in a while....
Imagine that...
But thanks to those two people any way.

CONVERSATIONS

What will I do in this vast country, U.S.A. with so many
people inhabiting it and still so few of them conversing
or feeling anything with anyone about anything or anyone,

CREATIVE MOVEMENTS

There are no creative, liberal,political movements in NY
any more.  If there are I am not in touch.
Perhaps its my fault that there are no liberal/political movements any more in NY
It must be my fault since everything else is my fault.
My stove doesn't work, its my fault
My clock doesn't work, its my fault
My kitchen floor is broken, its my fault
My clothes are stuffed into dressers, its my fault
My apt is now a storage, its my fault
I am always depressed, its my fault
My knee hurts, its my fault
My foot gets swollen, its my fault
I am often sad, its my fault
I am lonely,its my fault
I am isolated, its my fault
I don't submit my work, its my fault
I don't wash my hair, its my fault
My vaccum cleaner is broken, its my fault
So the lack of liberal, creative, political movements in NYC must be my fault
It has to be
It has to be my fault

THE GUY

I hate this guy
I hate his voice
I hate whatever he is talking about even if I
don't understand a thing he is saying except the word,"Money."
I hope he shuts up soon but he won't because he  is talking
and his talk revolves around money and this kind of talk never ends
till they are satisfied with the amount of money they have made already
but these kind of people are never satisfied with no matter how much
money they have already made because they always want more and more
and more, "Money."
I hope he shuts up because I am reading a book about Khalil Gibran
who was heavily into peace and love and faith and belief and love of brothers,,,
I wonder if this man with his ugly voice has ever heard of Khalil Gibran?

BOOKSHELVES

The whole world has been built by slaves.
All countries have been built by slaves.
Everything has been built by the help of slaves and nothing but slaves.
You are talking of getting some bookshelves built...
Give me a break,,,
Slaves worked from dusk to dawn every day for centuries and you are surprised that some people have
the ability to get bookshelves built by someone,,,
Where is that some one?
Some people in the name of love are still working like slaves for some one building everything,,,
Perhaps no one loves you enough to built your bookshelves....
Love is the second name of slavery,,,
No love is around,,
Everything is broken
Everything needs fixing
No love is around to fix it.

CHANGING

Its always changing

You learn something

And its already changed

You learn the new thing

And its changed again

You learn the very new thing

And its changed again

How much can you change every minute?

Can one not absorbs the old change first before

Its changed again?

ACHE

Now the new ache has started

Or the old ache has come back

Or the old ache had never gone away

Or the new ache was always there

To haunt me....

Some thing always haunts me

I don't know what it is?

Every choice haunts me

This way ?

Or that way?

Which way to go?

Haunts me....

Which way to go?

Or not go any where at all

Maybe thats the answer...

Maybe, if I stand still, the ache will go away...

Or maybe it never will...

It never will go away...

The ache.....